Stage fever

I'm getting nervous to blog something. Every time I see someone looking at me, I'm thinking : Have they been reading my blog, the pressure of fame is becoming too much. NOT

Today had another 102 visitors, I don't understand where do keep coming from.

Let me tell you a bit more about myself. I'm the guy who seems to get from one situation in another one, from one adventure into the next. I'm the guy you see sitting at the bar talking and telling stories the entire evening. Most of the time someone has experienced something fantastic, I have a better story. Do I make them up ? None, I just can't understand how some people can lead their lives and stumbling from one anecdote into another one. In Medieval times I would have been the travelling troubadour, travelling the countries and entertaining city by city with my stories.

The story of tonight is in fact not worth mentioning, but I think it was rather fun.

So, last Saturday on a prom, I met someone new and you could feel the magic in the air. It being already late (3h30pm) and not risking to become too frisky on the first encounter, I empty my beer in a gone, said goodnight, exchanged phone numbers and drove home.

For some reason, I decided to return to Antwerp not taking the highway (If you have been drinking the highway is most of the time the safest way to get home. Seldom they are conduction alcohol control on an highway), so I was making some speed when suddenly I saw a police officer in the middle of the road, who signed me to slow and to stop. I opened my driver's side window

Me : Good evening sir
PO : Good evening. Alcohol control. Have you been drinking ?
Me : (Being honest) Yes, I've drunk 2 pints of beer
PO : Just 2
Me : Yes, I still have to drive over 70 kilometers to get home (And now I realise this was my first mistake, if someone has to drive over 70 kilometers, he takes the highway)
PO : I will have to ask you to conduct a test. Can you please park your car ?

So I pulled over my car to the parking lane and kept waiting in the car
PO : Can I have your drivers license
I did so
PO : And your identification
Identification coming up
PO : And your insurance
Completely missed that one and gave him the old one and he corrected me, so I started to get nervous.
PO : Your vehicle registration
After 2 minutes of searching, I finally found it

Meanwhile a second officer had inspected my car and told the first one that my vehicle was equipped with a pull hook, so the first one asked my permit.
Me : You need a permit ? Never heard of it, besides this is a leasing car, which was handed over to me from my predecessor.
PO : You need an extra permit if you have a pull hook installed
Me : Never heard of it

Police Officer 2 meanwhile had assembled the alcohol tester and asked me to blow very hard until I heard a beep. Due to my asthmatics nature, I have been doing long tests for the last 15 years and my long contents is almost 6 liters, but to no avail I had to restart 2 time, before the tester proved me 'drunk'. In Belgium that is more than 0,5 promille.

I couldn't believe my hears. I had only drunk 2 pints of beer, most of time I drink a quadruple of that amount, but this time I ought to be safe.
PO : You'll have to come to the station, to conduct a blood analysis test

So, completely dismayed I stepped out of my car and locked the car. Now my car has a coming home function, so the lights stay on for another minute after locking the car.
PO : You have forgotten to switch off your lights
Me : Nope, they switch off automatically
PO : I think you have drunk way (notice the WAY) too much and you have forgotten to switch them.

Not feeling to argue, I entered the police car who was going to drive my to the station. The second police officer entered the car and starting to explain the procedure (He was quite nice, but firm). I asked him what happened if I had drunk too much, because I couldn't see how it could have happened, so he told me I would lose my permit for at least 3 hours.

Suddenly I felt very tired, knowing that I had to call my parents to pick me up (given the fact that half of my family has drinking problems and my parents wouldn't be too happy)
Just having departed, I heard the first police officer calling it of the controls for the day (Had I only arrived 2 minutes later).

Arrived at the station, they put me between a drugs dealer and a whore, with whom I have a nice talk for 15 minutes (I didn't know 80 grams of Cocaine went that amount of money on the street and neither did I know you have to pay more if you want a whore to undress completely).
Made some real good friends that evening (ahem)

Meanwhile the second police officer was trying to reassure me
PO2: You see sir, you are not the only one in the station tonight (being compared to a drugs dealer and a whore, I really felt better)

The first police offer called me over to his desk and asked me to blow (again) until I heard a sound. After 1 minute of grinding, the blood analysis test printed a ticked with only 1 number : 0,19. (Meaning I had 0,19 mg of alcohol in my blood, which is way lower that the 0,25 mg that is allowed), so I was safe.

Not, the first police officer let me do the test again with the breathalyzer and again it beeped positive. Back to the blood analysis machine: 0,19. At that time, I started looking around for a hidden camera. The first police officer not believing the machine contacted a third police officer (they do go to a great deal of trouble to earn a buck) and that one finally brought the relief :
PO3 : Those new testers tend to display an A (positive) if they started running out of batteries

So, finally, I was off the hook. Police officer 2 returned my stuff and escorted me back to the police car. Meanwhile police officer 1 kept on telling me : It's not always bad news, eh.

During the trip back, both officers kept on apologizing them for the trouble they had caused and the time I had lost and now I had a good story to tell to my friends (I do know better ones, but hey). Arrived at my car, I both shook their hands and wished them a good night and drove home.

Time of arrival at home : 6am.